View source for A Sapphire Christmas

{{Infobox play
| name       = A Sapphire Christmas
| image      = sapp.jpg
| image_size = 
| image_alt  = 
| caption    = Crystal Springs, the setting of the play
| writer     = *[[Funky]]
*[[Ethan Schulze]]
| chorus     = 
| characters = Narrator, Child, Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus
| mute       = 
| setting    = Crystal Springs, Sapphire Minecraft Server
| premiere   = Never occurred<!-- {{Start date|YYYY|MM|DD}} -->
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'''''A Sapphire Christmas''''' is a tragic comedy written by [[Funky]] and [[Ethan Schulze]] that was meant to be performed in ''Minecraft''. It appears to be based on ''How The Grinch Stole Christmas!'' but has a plot twist making it significantly different. It was supposed to be performed by the then [[Sapphire Development#People of Sapphire|members of Sapphire]], but never occurred.

== Synopsis ==

{{Quote box
|title = ''A Sapphire Christmas''
|quote = 
'''Narrator.''' 'Twas the night before Christmas,<br />
And everyone was awake.<br />
All the workers were working<br />
Not even taking their break.<br />

All the children were waiting at their fireplace<br />
Happy with glee,<br />
With a smile on their face,<br />

Except for one child, <br />
Down in Crystal Springs,<br />
Sitting in his closet, <br />
Plotting evil things.<br />

Crying in the corner, <br />
Clutching his bear,<br />
Tears flowing down in despair,<br />

Because earlier that year he learned at the store:<br />
He wasn't on Santa's good list anymore.<br />

[ ''Flashback'' ]<br />

'''Child.''' Santa, I want a rocket ship, a unicorn, and two and a half men.<br />

'''Santa.''' You have been naughty this year.<br />

'''Child.''' Aw dammit!<br />

'''Santa.''' Sorry little boy.<br />

'''Child.''' Mom!<br />

[ ''End flashback'' ]<br />

'''Narrator.''' He thought to himself, <br />

'''Child.''' I'll settle the score!<br />
There shall be no Christmas, anymore!<br />

'''Narrator.''' He climbed all the way, to the North Pole,<br />
Just to find Santa packing his coal.<br />

'''Child.''' Since you're here, have your present.<br />
I'm going to hurt you, this will not be pleasant.<br />

[ ''Child shoots Santa with bow'' ]<br />

'''Child.''' That's what you get for giving me a bow last year.<br />

'''Narrator.''' Then he got up and stole the reindeer.<br />

Soaring through the skies <br />
Looking down below,<br />

'''Child.''' Crystal Springs, here I go!<br />

'''Narrator.''' As he approaches the first house with a hoe,<br />
He doesnt see a chimney, so where does he go?<br />

[ ''Front door of house explodes'' ]<br />

'''Child.''' [ ''Laughs'' ] All these presents are mine!<br />
I'd better hurry because I'm running out of time.<br />

'''Narrator.''' Looting all the houses in Crystal Springs,<br />
Returning to his closet with many things.<br />

As the sun rises: Christmas is here,<br />
All the kids wake up, with no Christmas cheer.<br />

Too bad for the kids with no luck, <br />
All they said was:<br />

'''Group.''' What the fuck?<br />

[ ''Credits'' ]

[ ''After credits'' ]

'''Mrs. Claus.''' Die you ho ho ho!

[ ''Explosion'' ]
|source =—[[Funky]],<br />
[[Ethan Schulze]]
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