A Sapphire Christmas: Difference between revisions
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| caption = Crystal Springs, the setting of the play | | caption = Crystal Springs, the setting of the play | ||
| writer = *[[ | | writer = *[[Funky]] | ||
*[[Ethan Schulze]] | *[[Ethan Schulze]] | ||
| chorus = | | chorus = | ||
| characters = Narrator, Child, Santa | | characters = Narrator, Child, Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus | ||
| mute = | | mute = | ||
| setting = Crystal Springs, Sapphire Minecraft Server | | setting = Crystal Springs, Sapphire Minecraft Server | ||
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}} | }} | ||
'''''A Sapphire Christmas''''' is a tragic comedy | '''''A Sapphire Christmas''''' is a tragic comedy written by [[Funky]] and [[Ethan Schulze]] that was meant to be performed in ''Minecraft''. It appears to be based on ''How The Grinch Stole Christmas!'' but has a plot twist making it significantly different. It was supposed to be performed by the then [[Sapphire Development#People of Sapphire|members of Sapphire]], but never occurred. | ||
== Synopsis == | == Synopsis == | ||
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|title = ''A Sapphire Christmas'' | |title = ''A Sapphire Christmas'' | ||
|quote = | |quote = | ||
'''Narrator.''' 'Twas the night before Christmas, | '''Narrator.''' 'Twas the night before Christmas,<br /> | ||
And everyone was awake. | And everyone was awake.<br /> | ||
All the workers were working | All the workers were working<br /> | ||
Not even taking their break. | Not even taking their break.<br /> | ||
All the children were waiting at their fireplace | All the children were waiting at their fireplace<br /> | ||
Happy with glee, | Happy with glee,<br /> | ||
With a smile on their face, | With a smile on their face,<br /> | ||
Except for one child, | Except for one child, <br /> | ||
Down in Crystal Springs, | Down in Crystal Springs,<br /> | ||
Sitting in his closet, | Sitting in his closet, <br /> | ||
Plotting evil things | Plotting evil things.<br /> | ||
Crying in the corner, | Crying in the corner, <br /> | ||
Clutching his bear, | Clutching his bear,<br /> | ||
Tears flowing down in despair, | Tears flowing down in despair,<br /> | ||
Because earlier that year he learned at the store: | Because earlier that year he learned at the store:<br /> | ||
He wasn't on Santa's good list anymore. | He wasn't on Santa's good list anymore.<br /> | ||
[ ''Flashback'' ] | [ ''Flashback'' ]<br /> | ||
'''Child.''' Santa, I want a rocket ship, a unicorn, and two and a half men. | '''Child.''' Santa, I want a rocket ship, a unicorn, and two and a half men.<br /> | ||
'''Santa.''' You have been naughty this year. | '''Santa.''' You have been naughty this year.<br /> | ||
'''Child.''' Aw dammit! | '''Child.''' Aw dammit!<br /> | ||
'''Santa.''' Sorry little boy. | '''Santa.''' Sorry little boy.<br /> | ||
'''Child.''' Mom! | '''Child.''' Mom!<br /> | ||
[ ''End flashback'' ] | [ ''End flashback'' ]<br /> | ||
'''Narrator.''' He thought to himself, | '''Narrator.''' He thought to himself, <br /> | ||
'''Child.''' I'll settle the score! | '''Child.''' I'll settle the score!<br /> | ||
There shall be no Christmas, anymore! | There shall be no Christmas, anymore!<br /> | ||
'''Narrator.''' He climbed all the way, to the North Pole, | '''Narrator.''' He climbed all the way, to the North Pole,<br /> | ||
Just to find Santa packing his coal. | Just to find Santa packing his coal.<br /> | ||
'''Child.''' Since you're here, have your present. | '''Child.''' Since you're here, have your present.<br /> | ||
I'm going to hurt you, this will not be pleasant. | I'm going to hurt you, this will not be pleasant.<br /> | ||
[ ''Child shoots Santa with bow'' ] | [ ''Child shoots Santa with bow'' ]<br /> | ||
'''Child.''' That's what you get for giving me a bow last year. | '''Child.''' That's what you get for giving me a bow last year.<br /> | ||
'''Narrator.''' Then he got up and stole the reindeer. | '''Narrator.''' Then he got up and stole the reindeer.<br /> | ||
Soaring through the skies | Soaring through the skies <br /> | ||
Looking down below, | Looking down below,<br /> | ||
'''Child.''' Crystal Springs, here I go! | '''Child.''' Crystal Springs, here I go!<br /> | ||
'''Narrator.''' As he approaches the first house with a hoe, | '''Narrator.''' As he approaches the first house with a hoe,<br /> | ||
He doesnt see a chimney, so where does he go? | He doesnt see a chimney, so where does he go?<br /> | ||
[ ''Front door of house explodes'' ] | [ ''Front door of house explodes'' ]<br /> | ||
'''Child.''' [ ''Laughs'' ] All these presents are mine! | '''Child.''' [ ''Laughs'' ] All these presents are mine!<br /> | ||
I'd better hurry because I'm running out of time. | I'd better hurry because I'm running out of time.<br /> | ||
'''Narrator.''' Looting all the houses in Crystal Springs, | '''Narrator.''' Looting all the houses in Crystal Springs,<br /> | ||
Returning to his closet with many things. | Returning to his closet with many things.<br /> | ||
As the sun rises: Christmas is here, | As the sun rises: Christmas is here,<br /> | ||
All the kids wake up, with no Christmas cheer. | All the kids wake up, with no Christmas cheer.<br /> | ||
Too bad for the kids with no luck, | Too bad for the kids with no luck, <br /> | ||
All they said was: | All they said was:<br /> | ||
'''Group.''' What the fuck? | '''Group.''' What the fuck?<br /> | ||
[ ''Credits'' ] | |||
[ ''After credits'' ] | |||
|source =—[[ | |||
'''Mrs. Claus.''' Die you ho ho ho! | |||
[ ''Explosion'' ] | |||
|source =—[[Funky]],<br /> | |||
[[Ethan Schulze]] | [[Ethan Schulze]] | ||
|align = left | |align = left | ||
Latest revision as of 10:59, 9 January 2017
| A Sapphire Christmas | |
|---|---|
 Crystal Springs, the setting of the play | |
| Written by | |
| Characters | Narrator, Child, Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus |
| Date premiered | Never occurred |
| Setting | Crystal Springs, Sapphire Minecraft Server |
A Sapphire Christmas is a tragic comedy written by Funky and Ethan Schulze that was meant to be performed in Minecraft. It appears to be based on How The Grinch Stole Christmas! but has a plot twist making it significantly different. It was supposed to be performed by the then members of Sapphire, but never occurred.
Synopsis
Narrator. 'Twas the night before Christmas,
And everyone was awake.
All the workers were working
Not even taking their break.
All the children were waiting at their fireplace
Happy with glee,
With a smile on their face,
Except for one child,
Down in Crystal Springs,
Sitting in his closet,
Plotting evil things.
Crying in the corner,
Clutching his bear,
Tears flowing down in despair,
Because earlier that year he learned at the store:
He wasn't on Santa's good list anymore.
[ Flashback ]
Child. Santa, I want a rocket ship, a unicorn, and two and a half men.
Santa. You have been naughty this year.
Child. Aw dammit!
Santa. Sorry little boy.
Child. Mom!
[ End flashback ]
Narrator. He thought to himself,
Child. I'll settle the score!
There shall be no Christmas, anymore!
Narrator. He climbed all the way, to the North Pole,
Just to find Santa packing his coal.
Child. Since you're here, have your present.
I'm going to hurt you, this will not be pleasant.
[ Child shoots Santa with bow ]
Child. That's what you get for giving me a bow last year.
Narrator. Then he got up and stole the reindeer.
Soaring through the skies
Looking down below,
Child. Crystal Springs, here I go!
Narrator. As he approaches the first house with a hoe,
He doesnt see a chimney, so where does he go?
[ Front door of house explodes ]
Child. [ Laughs ] All these presents are mine!
I'd better hurry because I'm running out of time.
Narrator. Looting all the houses in Crystal Springs,
Returning to his closet with many things.
As the sun rises: Christmas is here,
All the kids wake up, with no Christmas cheer.
Too bad for the kids with no luck,
All they said was:
Group. What the fuck?
[ Credits ]
[ After credits ]
Mrs. Claus. Die you ho ho ho!
[ Explosion ]