Callisto Dialogues

Callisto Dialogues (2013)

Plain Italics represent Callisto's words accompanied by a glorious, soothing background music.

• I'm Callisto.
• The group laughs.
• I'm Callisto.
• Chatter about League of Legends.
• Callisto attempts to talk but is not heard.
• Bryan: Guys, Callisto is trying to say something.
• No I wasn't, don't mind me!.
• Group laughs.
• Unknown: I don't understand, who is that?
• I'm Callisto.
• Group laughs.
• Chatter about League of Legends.
• Funky: I am Callisto (imitating Callisto).
• Brandon: The fuck is Callisto supposed to-I don't understand.
• Mike: It's Callisto.
• Brandon: Who the fuck is Callisto?
• Weyrt: You don't need to understand.
• What is it?
• Unknown: There's nothing to understand, Callisto is god!
• Brandon: If I don't already know, I don't need to know?
• Mike: Callisto is Callisto.
• I'm Callisto.
• Group laughs.
• Funky: That sounds like it's from an anime!
• You sound like you're from an anime.
• Brandon: Is it like one of those things where if you don't know, you don't need to know?
• Chatter about League of Legends.
• Funky: That sounds like some gay anime like where everything is all peaceful.
• Unknown: Holy fucking shit!
• Cydax wants me to tell you how fabulous he is.
• Group laughs.
• to Cydax: why should I lie?
• Weyrt: Dude, this has to be one of Cydax's friends.
• Jimmy: It's Cydax.
• Brandon: I don't understand.
• Chatter about Cydax.
• Chatter about League of Legends.
• Funky: Callisto only sounds cool because he has background music.
• Chatter about League of Legends/Cydax/background music.
• Funky: Callisto, turn off your background music.
• No.
• Group laughs.
• Brandon: The music or something is awesome, I don't know what else...
• Weyrt: Callisto would you suck dick for money?
• Funky says something about a gay anime but is not heard.
• Jimmy: Hi I'm Callisto! (imitating Callisto)
• I'm not Callisto. You're Callisto. But if you're Callisto, then who's this Callisto right here because I'm Callisto.
• Group laughs.
• Mike: What? Stop.
• Bryan says something random about Reddit AMAs.
• Funky: Either he types really fast, or he's a good voice actor.
• Weyrt: Or he has a voice changer, derp.
• Mike: That's not a voice changer; there's no way any voice changer could ever do that.
• Brandon: That has to be a voice changer.
• This isn't a voice changer. I'm just as human as you are.
• Group laughs.
• Funky: He's scaring me..
• Brandon: It has to be a voice changer.
• Funky: No no no, no it's not. Because people can talk like that in animes and stuff.
• Brandon: Nah, it's gotta-there's no way-it's too amazing.
• Funky says something about anime.
• When people are scared, they cling to failure.
• Bryan: What anime has the like, what anime has a person who is saying that Cydax is fabulous? Like really.
• Brandon: The voice is too amazing for me.
• None, that's for sure.
• Chatter about League of Legends.
• Weyrt: Callisto is talking.
• Maybe I think you're using a voice changer.
• Chatter about League of Legends.
• Cydax types to Callisto: Callisto, I don't think that's your real name.
• No, I'm pretty sure my name is Callisto.
• Chatter about League of Legends.
• I'm Callisto.
• Group laughs.
• Weyrt: Callisto, do you suck Cydax's dick for money?
• What dick?
• Group laughs.
• Chatter about League of Legends.
• Bryan: Callisto's scaring me.
• You're welcome.
• Unknown: Callisto will you make love to me?
• No.
• Unknown (multiple): Please?
• No.
• Unknown: Callisto, can I have your dick?
• Unknown: Why not?
• Because.
• Random chatter.
• Mike: Callisto, you're the meaning to my life.
• Unknown: Guys guys, we're starting a new religion. We are now worshiping Callisto.
• A few moments pass.
• Something.
• Something.
• I guess this server can finally become the People's Republic of Callisto.
• Group laughs.
• All my plans are coming to fruition.
• Unknown: Who says fruition?
• Unknown: The background music makes it so hard..
• Brandon: No, it makes me hard.
• Unknown: It makes you moist.
• Silence.
• Brandon: It's so moist.
• Chatter about League of Legends.
• t3sla: Are you using Microsoft Callisto?
• It's not Microsoft Callisto, it's just Callisto.
• Group laughs.
• Unknown: It's JESUS Callisto.
• But, you aren't the first person to say I sound like Jesus.
• Group laughs.
• Unknown: I'm sure if Jesus came down today, it would be in the manifestation of Callisto.
• What's up bro?
• Funky: Who left? Callisto?
• No, it was Jimmy and t3sla.
• Group laughs.
• I would know, because I'm Callisto.
• Weyrt: It's gotta be Cydax.
• Mike: It is Cydax. You can see in the chat-oh, that's Callisto (shocked).
• Im not Cydax, I'm Callisto.
• Mike: Callisto, I have a question.
• Bryan: Ask the Callisto anything.
• That's right, ask me anything.
• Unknown: Callisto, will you tussle my hair?
• No.
• Mike: Callisto, I have two questions.
• What are you two questions?
• Mike: Will you go on a date with me, and why not?
• No. Why?
• Chatter about recording.
• Mike: Where did this guy find our channel?
• I came here from the Public Server List.
• Funky: Quickly ban him! He's a government spy!
• No! Why?
• Bryan: If you ban him, you'll get killed.
• Unknown: The New Republic of Callisto is rising. Beware.
• Bryan: Callisto, do you work like a crystal ball?
• No.
• Weyrt: I imagine Callisto looking like Wisp from DotA2.
• Who?
• Weyrt: Wisp.
• Who?
• Unknown: Are you a crystal ball Callisto?
• Are you?
• Group laughs.
• Mike: I'VE GOT BALLS OF STEEL.
• I don't have balls of steel.
• Group laughs.
• Unknown: Callisto has balls of Callisto, let's be real here.
• That's right, because I'm Callisto.
• Intermission.
• What's your question Cydax?
• Cydax typing to Callisto: What is Callisto made of?
• Callisto is made of Callisto, because I'm Callisto.
• Group laughs.
• Bryan: Callisto, I'm the first Callistostarian priest!
• That's neat.
• Unknown: I'm the second.
• Funky: Hey Callisto, are you Coconut head?
• Im sorry, what?
• Funky: Yeah that's what I thought faggot, you don't watch Ned's Declassified, do you?
• Bryan: Who's Callisto reincarnation?
• Jesus.
• Group laughs.
• I'll be right back.